Empathy & Self-Love

Being understanding is an amazing trait of empathy, but be mindful of how many red flags you forgive along the way and how often you allow people to let you down because you understand; because you clearly see through fears and patterns to the seed of their inability to approach or handle things differently.

The truth is we can’t change people; we can only love them believing that our love will inspire them to heal and do better. However, love includes self-love, too. Accepting people fully in everything they are is a beautiful thing, so long as we don’t use it against ourselves. I can empathize with all their scars and suffering, but that doesn’t mean I will put up with all their behavior.

The boundary, for me, is now set at healthy self-regard. When my love for another undermines my self-respect, the fence goes up. And that is not because I don’t believe in their possibilities, but because I have come to realize that there is no value in sacrificing my actuality for their potentiality.

I now make a distinction between human potential — which may well be infinite — and human reality — which is often quite finite, particularly in those who choose to remain asleep. Yes, they may well awaken, but we should never postpone any part of our own life waiting for that to happen. Unconditional love begins at home, with protecting and honoring of our own unique journey.